Family

I try hard to be a good mom.
My husband tries hard to be a good day.
And, occassionally we screw up. Our plans not to argue in front of our child don't always work out. We shout when we shouldn't. We have a short fuse at times. And, sometimes we step back and worry that perhaps we should be better parents.
But, then there are the days when we realize that despite the craziness of our lives, and the stress that comes along with it, that maybe we're not doing such a bad job.

Yesterday Matthew drew a picture of us, as a family.(and, since when can he draw people???).
To me it was a pretty amazing moment.
I've posted it below, but feel free to enlarge it. Matt explained it to me in detail.
It's Mommy and Daddy holding hands because we love each other. Matthew is holding Daddy's hand because I have a baby in my tummy.



So, maybe I'm not perfect all the time. But, if this is how Matt views his family I think we're doing pretty well.

Happy New Year's everyone!!!

New Year's Resolution ... Check!

It's that time of year to make some New Year's Resolutions.
In the past I've always done the typical lose weight, exercise more, stay organized, etc. The truth is, I usually fail.
I think the worst one was when I decided to cut out chocolate. Completely. That lasted about 2 hours.
Last year I got smart.
I decided to have a fun resolution. One that I would embrace and enjoy. My resolution: to wear jewelry every day. I'm happy to report I did really well. I have a fun collection of costume jewelry and I tried mixing it up and staying colourful. It was fun.
And, as the year ends I feel a sense of accomplishment.
So this year I decided to come up with something equally fun and achievable.
Want to know what I'm doing?
Instead of buying all my books I am going to the library.
Novel idea, eh? (ha ha ha.)
Seriously. I started to calculate how much money I spend on books. Considering I read about 2 books per week on the GO train, it really adds up. And it's inconvenient to always run to the bookstore.
I hate to admit that I've lived in this town for just over a year and I have never been to our local library. So, I googled it and discovered there is a library that I can walk to.
It's in a little plaza across from a Starbucks.
So ... basically the money I will save on buying books will be spent on getting lattes. Just kidding!
Today I took Matthew to get library cards. Not only did I get us some free books, they also have a really good play area where I can read and Matt can play. Why didn't I think of this earlier????
Now don't get me wrong. It's not that I'll never go back to the bookstore. There are some books that are totally worth picking up.
But, I'm going to save my money for the stuff I really want, and get some library books for the in-between.
So ... what are your resolutions?

A Merry Christmas

Christmas was wonderful.
Santa came ... and brought Matthew a red light sabre



Mike and I were both spoiled as well: Mike with new Ray Bans, me with a Coach purse and a bassinet for the baby.

We spent time with family.





And now we will rest, and shop and generally relax.

Normal blogging will resume shortly. For now I'm enjoying my time away from the computer.

Enjoy your holidays everyone!!!!

Christmas Spirit

It's quiet this morning.
Matthew spent the night at my sister's since Mike and I went to his work Christmas party last night. It was a wonderful evening. We spent most of the evening with his good friend from work who is a friend from university, and his wife. It was really nice to chat with someone who has a similar parenting philosophy as me (especially since her profession is working with children) and enjoying an evening away from kids.
Somehow we got onto the topic of working full-time, having kids, and keeping the house clean.
She said to me "I figure my kids will just grow up to be really agile since they are so adept at stepping around their toys."
It's comments like that that make me think that yes, this is someone who is welcome in my home anytime.
But really, it was nice to get dressed up and enjoy a lovely dinner. Okay, so granted I didn't make it through the dinner because it was so rich and filling, but Mike was more than happy to finish what I couldn't.
And this morning I slept in! I didn't get up till 7am! Considering I've been wide awake at 4 am everyday for the last few months, 7 am was quite the extravagance. And, I've been spoiled watching all my Sunday morning news programs and haven't watched ONE MINUTE of Treehouse.
And what have I done while watching tv? I've been wrapping gifts.
I've gone to great lengths to make sure that Matt doesn't find his gifts, but I realized I also had to hide special wrapping paper and find a time to wrap presents while he wasn't around - not an easy task since he never naps and we tend to go to bed at the same time these days.
Luckily I had some time this morning so I am done.
We still have to go battery shopping though. Last year we forgot to pick up batteries and so on Christmas morning a couple of didn't work. This year I remembered, so as I wrapped I made a note of what batteries everything takes. I even remembered the batteries for the toy I bought my niece. SMART!
And with all of this stuff out of the way we're spending the next couple of days enjoying the season.
This morning we're meeting my sister and parents at a bakery and then we're going to get our house in good shape.
Tomorrow, for Christmas Eve morning, I'm taking Matt on a GO train ride to Toronto, and we're going to go and check out the windows downtown Toronto. I have to admit that even though I work in Toronto, downtown no less, I never take the time to go and see all of the Christmas windows and the beautiful trees at Nathan Philips Square. So, the plan is to take a couple of hours to just enjoy some Christmas.
Truthfully I'd rather drive in, but Matthew loves taking the train, and I know it will be a fun ride.
In the early evening we are going to take Matthew to a kids' church service. As wonderful as it is to talk about Santa, it's important to me that Matt also understands the true meaning of Christmas and understand what the spirit of Christmas is truly about.
Anyway, I'm not sure if I'll be blogging before Christmas.
So to all my friends ...


Merry Christmas!

I hope everyone enjoys their holidays and that Santa is kind to you all!

One More Day of Work

I'm counting down the minutes, I must admit.
I'm so ready for Christmas. I'm ready to stay up late (okay, in my world these days that's 10) and sleep in till at least 7! I'm ready to go to a Christmas party on Saturday night. I'm ready to wrap presents and start baking and cooking.
I'm ready for Christmas cheer.
I have been trying hard to tie some stuff up at work for my week off. I know it's not a long time off, but I hate leaving stuff for other's to sort out.
Luckily everything seems to be working out so far which means that come Friday afternoon I'm turning my blackberry off (or at least only checking it every few hours) and taking a holiday!
Today Matt's letter from Santa arrived. It was so cute and Matt was thrilled that Santa wrote him a letter. It was pretty sweet with a personalized note and everything.

Of course with the upcoming season I've been thinking about the past and toward the future. It's my first Christmas without my Grandma. Last year she wasn't doing that great, and we were sad for her. So, even though this year I'll be missing her, I know that she and Grandpa are with us in spirit. I keep thinking about how this year my cousin's baby is almost one. Last year she was just days away from giving birth. Now this year I'm the one who's pregnant, though thankfully (hopefully?) more than a few days away from giving birth!

But, I'm also looking forward. I can't believe that next year's Christmas pictures will include another member of the family. It seems a little crazy to me right now. The last few Christmases have centered around Matthew and making it magical for him. I'm so excited to share this with another baby.

The Christmas fun starts tonight. My good friend (and who am I kidding, someone Matt LOVES) is coming over. It's our first chance to let someone sample our Christmas goodies and matt's sooooo excited to give her the gift that he helped to make. It's all very exciting.

Five days to go!

Less Than a Week

And we are ready for Christmas.

Thanks to a fellow blogger and Star Wars fan we were able to get Matt's final Christmas gift ... a red light sabre.

The funny thing is, this isn't a terribly expensive gift. It's a $10 toy, but he has been asking Santa for it non-stop. And, no matter how hard I looked the stores were sold out. So, I was more than thrilled when I got a phone call saying one had been located.

And, thanks everyone for looking.

Tonight we also finished up our daycare gifts. Well, almost. We ran out of cellophane, but other than that we are done. Matthew made cards for each of his teachers and then I wrote personal messages. It was kind of fun asking him what is special about each teacher. One sings good songs, another reads good books, another is a good hugger. And, then there is one, a substitute teacher for a month who "isn't a teacher. She's just a person." So, I had to be creative with that one. But, all in all I feel like the teachers will know they are loved and appreciated both by us and by Matthew. And, that's what Christmas is all about.

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Tomorrow I go for my last OB appointment before Christmas. I've had lots of doctors appointments over the past couple of weeks (just various tests, etc), but I'm looking forward to tomorrow.

Lately everything has felt a lot more real to me. I'm definitely looking pregnant and feeling pregnant. And, this baby is moving around a lot. We've also been debating names AGAIN. See why we keep the name thing a secret? The name we loved now we just like and we have moved on to a name we love more.

The thing I find funny is that when I'm making lists of names, most of the names are variations of names that I gave various dolls growing up. In fact, if we stick with the name we have chosen, it's just a reversal of one of my favourite doll names ever. Trust me - this wasn't a conscious decision. It just is. (this will now drive my sister crazy because she knows all my doll's names).

Is it me - or are we feeling the Christmas spirit these days?

Best Friends

The other day we asked Matthew who his best friend is.
Of course his answer was first Kyla (his cousin), but then I asked if he had any other best friend.
His answer was Austin, a friend of his at daycare.
It's pretty cute because he talks about Austin. All.The.Time.
If we ask him what he did during the day it's always "me and Austin ..."
He and Austin sit together at snack and lunch. They colour together when it's colouring time. They play together outside.
He gets along with a lot of the other kids, but it seems that he and Austin are a team. They are close in age, they like the same things (Diego, Transformers, Lightning McQueen) and they seem to have a really similar attitude. Both are "all boy" in many ways. They can be a little rough and sometimes wrestle.
One day Austin cut Matt's hair. Another day Matt closed Austin's finger in the (toy) microwave. If there's any sort of accident report we know who the other child involved was.
But, there's never any malice. They are just playing.
And, the thing is, I really like Austin too.
His parents have the same attitude we do. Boys will be boys, but you have to draw the line. It's not a big deal if they come home covered in paint, have done some silly crazy thing during the day, or been a little rough with each other. But, stuff like swearing, hurting each other, and general bad behaviour is not okay. (though I have to admit that his mom and I were laughing one night about some of the words they call each other, and how we have to try not to giggle when they try out certain words).

Last night I went to pick up Matt. Just he and Austin were there, and they were colouring. I was chatting with them, and they both drew me a picture. After a few minutes it was time to leave. Mike and I were talking to matt's teacher, and we realized that Matt and Austin were saying goodbye.

It was adorable.

Austin came over and gave Matt a hug.
Matt kissed Austin on the cheek.

Then Austin whispered to Matt "don't forget we have to be good."
And Matt said to him "yes. we know Santa is watching us."

It was the CUTEST thing ever. I hope they never lose this innocence.

It's all fun and games ...

Till the snow buries your child's beloved snowman.
Sadly, last night when we were tucking Matt into bed he started sobbing. He had named his beloved snowman "Mr. Matthew Snowman" and after all the snow we got yesterday poor old Mr. Matthew Snowman was completely buried.
As were the little lightbulb lights we stick in the snow and our reindeer.
In fact, Matthew was so upset that we needed to take action.
Mike went out in the snow and had to dig out Mr. Matthew Snowman and our reindeer.
It was bad enough when raccoons ate the poor snowman's mouth and nose.
This was inexcusable.
So far today there has been very little snow, so we're assuming we will come home to an intact snowman.
I keep reminding myself that at least it will be a white Christmas.

Snow Day!

I awoke this morning to the sounds of ploughs driving up our street.

And, like a little kid I ran to the window to see just how much snow we got. It wasn't the 20 inches or whatever was predicted. It was more like 5 cm. But, it's snow. And it's beautiful. And, if it stays like this we will have a white Christmas!

There's lots that we could do today.

We were planning to visit a friend to return something of his (no biggie to pop it in the mail). We had debated driving to visit my grandfather (we would have called him today - so he won't be disappointed by us not coming). But, considering that the roads are supposed to be crappy and we are all a little tired from planning for Christmas, we are declaring a snow day!

Matt wants to make his snowman bigger. We need to shovel the walk. I love taking pictures in the fresh snow. We may even let Rosie play in the snow for a couple of minutes. (I know indoor cats should stay inside, but I'm sure letting her run out to sniff the white stuff is perfectly okay).

Yesterday I made some Christmas cookies that have chilled overnight. And I am going to see how they turned out. We have all the stuff for rice krispie squares and I've promised Matt that we can make some.

All in all it's going to be a fun, quiet day.

Luckily I stocked up on hot chocolate so we can enjoy a yummy cup while watching a Christmas movie and cuddling on the couch. Sometime in there I may take a nap or write a couple more christmas cards.

What we're not doing is worrying about Christmas gifts not yet purchased, rooms that need to be tidied before we have visitors on Christmas or last minute stocking stuffers that really should be purchased at the last minute.

Sure there are lots of Christmas memories yet to be made this year, but when I think back to when I was little, the one thing that stands out in my mind was watching White Christmas, drinking hot chocolate out of our Santa cups, with candy cane stirsticks and opening one of the many boxes of chocolates my dad got as a gift (and being allowed to take a bite of a chocolate and if we didn't like it putting it back in the box for my dad to later eat).

I have a feeling that today will be one of those days to remember.

10 Days Till Christmas

I LOVE Christmas, and I can't believe that it's only 10 days away.
The countdown is on in our house.
We've decorated and most of our gifts are bought. Let me clarify, I've bought everything except for the daycare teacher gifts. And, the only reason I haven't bought those gifts is because I have no idea who Matt's teachers are. One teacher just got back from maternity and the replacement teacher (who has been there a month) is leaving. We're just not exactly sure when that will be.
So ...
That makes gift giving hard.
But, we'll sort it out.
Other than that I'm done. And, now I've moved on to the final touches.
Though I decided not to bake today, I did decide on one recipe to try (thanks to MTM who actually knew what cookie I was talking about when I sent a desperate e-mail trying to figure it out). And I'm trying that today.
I also decided to invite my nieces over today.
We have some gifts for my sister and brother-in-law that the girls want to wrap, and I've decided to make some sort of craft, though I have no idea.
So, I'm thinking an early morning shopping trip to Walmart is in order. The one near us is now open 24 hours, and since I doubt that either of my boys will be up for at least a couple of hours, I am thinking I may get dressed and go scope out some craft stuff, get my recipe ingedients and see if I can find the final stocking stuffers for Mike.
But, as for Mike ...
Wanna know what gifts he is responsible for? Mine. Just mine.
And guess what? He hasn't done his shopping yet. I have kindly sent him some suggestions, but he still has to hit the malls. He hates crowds and he hates malls, but what can you do? I think he's shopping today. While I craft with the kids.
And then we should be done :)
Until I come up with some other crazy Christmas idea that we have to accomplish.
Seriously, it's not even 6:30 ... it's kind of a hassle that I haven't been able to sleep in this pregnancy, but when you wake up at 4 am, you can get a lot of Christmas stuff accomplished.

Snow, Snow, Snow, Snow SNOW

Tonight was the perfect night to make the fist snowman of the season.





That's Mr. Snowman to you!



Matt informed us that this means Santa is soon on his way. It's true. One more week of work/daycare and then it's time for Santa. I think I'm almost as excited as Matthew is.

PS Santa is still looking for a RED Light Sabre ... any ideas? (I have it on good authority that he was only able to find purple and green!)

Lobsters

Tonight we went to Red Lobster.
Here's the thing: I don't particularly like fish.
I don't really mind fish and chips when I can't taste the fish. I will occasionally eat salmon if my dad is barbequing it.
But other than that - yuck!
I don't even like caesar salad if you can taste anchovy paste.
It's not for lack of trying on my parents' part. They used to buy some sort of white fish and try to hide it in stuff. Sometimes they would try to hide it in a stir fry. But, really it wasn't a hit. (and, to be honest, I think they were quite happy not to serve us fish since they didn't love it either)
However.
Matthew loves fish.
He is constantly asking for fish and "charger" sauce (tarter sauce). They introduced it at the day care recently and Matt thinks it is delicious.
And somehow he learned about Red Lobster.
He's asked many many times to go there, and tonight we decided to bring him. He was in a good mood, and asked to go out for dinner, and trust me, he rarely wants to go to a restaurant. So we went.
It was a really fun experience.
The hostess at our Red Lobster should really work with kids. She was super with him. She actually took a lobster out of the tank and taught us all about lobsters. It was pretty interesting, even if I was alternating between hiding behind my husband and pulling Matt back so the lobster wouldn't bite him.
But, really, she told us all about lobsters, and even put the lobster on the floor and let Matt pet it.
Dinner was great too.
Matt was super well behaved. I'm not sure what came over him, but he listened to us and was quiet and just generally good. He was thrilled with his fish dinner. And, all the staff kept coming and talking to him.
And best of all, he left with lots of lobster paraphernalia.
The only problem is that I REALLY don't like fish, so I don't think we'll go back too often. I mean really, I had sole for dinner. I was being adventurous. And YUCK! Not my favourite. But all in all it was pretty fun.
And I know a whole lot more about lobsters now. (I even know how to tell the difference between a male and female)

The BEST Christmas Concert Ever!

Friday night was Matt's daycare Christmas concert.
I never post video of him on here. There are 2 good reasons for this. First, I don't know how. Second, we don't own a video camera. We just have the little video thing on our camera.
After Friday night we have decided we need to get a video camera before this new baby comes! But, for now I give you a brief glance of Matt singing his heart out at the daycare concert.
A couple things to notice:

1) I TOLD you Matt is a handful. This is my child having not had sugar all day.
2) You have to watch how relaxed the teachers are. This is why I knew this is the daycare for us. While Matt was performing his teacher and I were giggling. They don't put up with bad behaviour, but kids being kids ... that's what daycare is all about!

In case you didn't guess, Matthew is the one in the green and white striped sweater.



This video goes to show that while Matthew looks EXACTLY like his dad, he managed to get a whole lot of my personality.

Broadway, here we come!

Oh Christmas Tree!

Great news!!!
Our house now smells like pine. We got our Christmas tree yesterday.
We didn't exactly go to a tree farm. We went to Ikea. But, what's not to love about a $20 tree? Especially when you get a gift certificate for $20 (with a minimum purchase) for the New Year.
I love it!
Unfortunately I've discovered that I have a new bizarre allergy to trees! Seriously. My allergies go into overdrive when I'm pregnant. After sitting in the living room with my new tree for 10 minutes and going through 10 kleenex, I realized that there better be some Benadryl in my stocking!!!!
We're actually doing really well when it comes to Christmas stuff. We have bought most of our gifts. We just have stockings to go. And a light Sabre. (why is my 3 year old suddenly obsessed with Star Wars??)
It's beginning o look like christmas at our house!

First Pictures

I went for a quick 3D Ultrasound today.
The only word to describe it is AMAZING.
Here are my first pictures of my little baby. And, I now know for sure that it's a girl!




I didn't do this with Matthew because I kind of thought that the pictures looked like aliens. But, I went today because I wanted to confirm gender. And then it was this amazing experience. AMAZING!

We're going back in 6 weeks. It's that great. Everything seems so incredibly real now. Usually ultrasounds kinda look like blobs to me, but today I saw a baby. Sixteen weeks to go .... Suddenly I can't wait.

My Glamorous Life

GLAMOROUS: full of glamour, excitingly attractive

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I debated this post for quite awhile. Usually I just write whatever is on my mind, whether it's happy or sad, good or bad. Some of what I say about myself is positive, but there's also the negative. I think that's balance.
And, I truly believe that if you want to be a better person you need to see both the good and the bad in yourself.
For the most part there are things I love about myself. I'm lucky to be surrounded by amazing friends, a fantastic family and great colleagues. I am incredibly blessed to have a child who, in my opinion, is the most fabulous child in the entire world.
I like my job. Not every day is perfect. But, I've worked hard to get where I am, and if the feedback I get is any indication I'm doing alright. (except, of course, for my messy desk.)
As wonderful as all of this is, I work at it. I'm not perfect, but I'm pretty good sister, friend, colleague and most of all mother. If I hurt someone I apologize. I work on friendships.
And, above all I'm loyal.
It really really bugs me when people switch sides constantly. I think everyone has been on the receiving end of a friendship that has been dumped when someone "cooler" comes along. I'll be the first to admit that I've done that in the past. But, to me, being a true friend is about sticking by someone. Even if that hurts your reputation.
So far, in life, that has worked for me.
And, the longer I've been blogging the more I've realized that this translates to the blog world. Granted I don't think all the bloggers whose blogs I visit are my "friends". But, if someone has made a difference in my life, and if I like his or her writing, then by all means I'm going to stay loyal to that blogger.
So, why am I saying that?
Because I'm tired of being mocked for loyalty to a specific blogger. (It all started with this and then this)
For those of you who have read my blog very long you'll know that I really respect a specific writer/blogger. I've written about her in the past - and I've been open about how great I think she is.
That hasn't changed.
But, she has critics. And they are nasty. And, as time goes on, as much as they like to mock her, they have become really cruel to me.
And, the dumb thing is, the only reason that I do reply on that blog occasionally is because sometimes I think they are being too vicious and nasty, and whether or not the person they are being nasty to cares, reads it or never responds, I sometimes do say something because if it were me I would want someone in my corner.
That's who I am.
Whether or not that person cares, I do.
But, I've had it. I'm tired of reading comments that are mean for no reason. I'm tired of being judged. It makes me sick when people say that my blog is more boring to read than watching paint dry. It bothers me that people joke about who the father of my "love child" is.
In all honesty, I'm pregnant, and I've been sick for months, and there are days when making it through the day without crying is an accomplishment. And, to go read unnecessary and unwarranted criticism about me that is only posted so that a bunch of losers can read their own jokes and laugh ... NO THANKS.

After this - I'm done. And, this is what they think is funny. I don't.
The comment that bugs me the most is this. It bothers me because it is so incorrect.

"Re the question about (Laural). She's a mommy blogger, and she's been psychoanalyzed quite thoroughly by previous commentors. Low self esteem. Unglamorous life. Fantasy projection."

So, to that person, and to anyone else who reads this blog I have this to say. I'm happy. I sleep at night because I am happy with my life and everything in it. My blog is about my life. And, I am a fallible person who admits her week points. If you think that's low self esteem. whatever.
But as for an unglamorous life - consult a dictionary. To me my life is "excitingly attractive". I love and am loved. I'm not quite sure what else I could ask for.
And as for "fantasy projection" ... what's to project? No one's life is perfect. Parenting is hard. Work is hard. But at the end of the day I'm grateful for what I have, I'm grateful for what I'm working towards. This is what I dreamed of. Sure I have goals and dreams and hopes. That's what propels me through life.
But, if you're reading this blog to mock me. And if you think that because I'm comfortable with my imperfections it means I need to be psychoanalysed you're wrong. Life is what you make it and to me life is beautiful.

I Can Hear!!!

Seriously, after a million home remedies, I can finally hear again.
It's a little touch and go.
My ears keep popping. One minute I can hear - the next I can't. But thankfully for the past hour I have actually been able to hear with both of my ears. It has been a full week since my ear has been clogged - so this is huge.

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In other news, I'm almost done my Christmas shopping.
On the weekend I got Mike's Christmas gift. He's the hardest person on my list to shop for. And, he also tries to guess his gifts in advance.
There will be no clues here. But, let's just say I think he'll be pleasantly surprised. And I'm pretty excited.

On top of that I finished shopping for my sister tonight. I actually was done, but then I got a moment of inspiration and had to go back out to get one more thing.

This leaves me in pretty good shape. I still have daycare gifts to buy, but I usually get those at the last minute. And I know what I'm getting. The first of my presents will sort of be delivered this weekend because my in-laws are taking my gifts for my sister in law and her boyfriend. Because they are travelling with the gifts we don't get to wrap them. That kind of sucks, but what can you do?

As Matt said in the van tonight "hurry up, Christmas!" I'm beginning to feel the same way. I'm ready!!!!

The Ear Bone's Connected to the ...

To what?
Oh nothing.
Does anyone know much about the ear? Cause apparently I do not.
On Saturday, after a lengthy shopping trip with my sister we went to Shoppers Drug Mart. I have this stupid nagging ear issue, which can apparently be fixed with an over-the-counter remedy that you put in your ears for 15 minutes and then drain out with water.
(no, hydrogen peroxide hasn't worked. Nor has vinegar)
So, I had little consult with the pharmacist.
He showed me the product he recommended, and explained you put it in your ear. You stick a cotton ball in to plug it and then 15 minutes later you get a syringe, fill it with water and rinse your ear out. Then let it drain.
Sounds easy enough.
Except ...
I did not understand that ears are not connected.

I truly believed that if I put the goo in my right ear (or my deaf ear) it would all drain out the left ear. So, I was trying to figure out which ear I should put the cotton in and which ear I should hold a bowl under when Mike was rinsing my ear.
Stupidly I asked the pharmicist these questions.
He was baffled.
My sister was baffled.
And then at the same moment both the pharmacist and my sister, who apparently paid far more attention in science than I ever did started laughing.
The pharmacist, who was trying to maintain some manner of professionalism, nicely said that unlike what I may have seen on television, ears are not connected that way.
Wow!
Thank goodness I didn't go into medicine :)

But seriously - does anyone know how to get rid of ear wax? I've never had this problem before and it's driving me crazy.

Enough!

Last night I officially lost it.
I've been sick, and tired.
This pregnancy has taken more out of me than I care to admit, but I'm trying to keep it together. I'm trying to get work done, be a good mom, be a good wife and get ready for Christmas. For the most part I keep it together.
And then there was last night.
Matt woke up in the middle of the night puking. He's got a horrible cough, and he coughed so hard he threw up.
So, Mike and I cleaned him up, and he came to sleep in my bed while Mike took the couch. This worked for a couple of hours until 2:00 when Matt's coughing kept waking me up. I was trying to sleep, but the constant coughing was driving me up the wall.
So I decided to move him.
In order to do this I had to take the blankets off the top bunk of his bunk bed and move them to the bottom bunk because I can't lift Matt up to the top bunk.
As I was moving the blankets, one of his toys - the f*&%ing Puzzle Bug came flying out of the blanket on the upper bunk and whacked me in the eye.
I LOST IT.
I've put up with more than enough. A toy in the eye was pretty much more than I could handle, especially at 2 am.
So, there I was grasping my eye, crying, and trying to make Matt's bed.
I then woke him up to move him. By that point I wasn't even aware I was still crying. I just was. So Matt started crying. So there we were, both sobbing, while trying to move beds.
Poor Mike stumbled up the stairs at this point thinking there was some major crisis.
The ridiculousness of the situation didn't occur to me at the time.
Mike calmed Matthew down and then came to figure out why I was so upset.
At this point I'd cleaned up the blood (cause yes, it did actually cut me) and was just standing in the bathroom crying.
I think I managed to say "I've had enough. I can't handle this."
Wisely Mike just let me cry. And cry. And cry.
He knows me well enough that when I hit the point of not being able to put to make sense of my tears I probably just need some space to cry.
Eventually I fell asleep. Exhausted, in pain, and just utterly utterly frustrated.
Now that it's morning the outlook is a little brighter.
My eye is cut, but at least I don't have a black eye. I'm still deaf in one ear, but at least it's not throbbing anymore. My nose is still stuffy, and my throat still hurts. But they are bearable.
I'm hoping that cleaning the house, listening to Christmas music and having an afternoon nap will make things a little better.
But seriously, ENOUGH!

Imagination

The Christmas television commercials are hitting the air, and my favourite ones are for toys. I love watching them with Matt. I don't care about consumerism and all of that right now because for a month I let him watch the stations with all the ads and see what's out there.
I love watching his face when a really cool new toy is advertised.
He rarely asks for one. I'm not quite sure he understands that the ads are telling him to buy it - he's just pretty enamoured watching what these things can do.
We already know what we're asking Santa for, and I have a pretty good idea what Santa, and assorted relatives, will be getting for Matthew. He loves Christmas morning, but doesn't seem to think of it only as about gifts.
He still appreciates the magic.
But, what these commercials have got me thinking about is imagination.
I'll be the first to admit that I am swayed by advertising - especially when I read about and see toys that are educational.
When Matthew was really little, I was quite obsessed with toys that encouraged imagination. I wasn't sure if I would have another baby, and I didn't want him to be lonely. I wanted him to find the same joy in imagination as I did.
I can still remember the hours and hours we spent playing with the Fisher Price Little People. My sister and I had names for them all (she got to be "green girl" - the girl in the green dress, and I got to be "blue girl" - you got it, the girl in the blue dress). As we got older we moved on to dolls where I would play school for hours on end (our favourites were Sarah and Mandy and Jenny) . And, eventually it was on to Barbies. (we had tons, and I can still tell you all their names).
What was unique about these toys is that they didn't make sounds. They didn't have speech that told us what they were saying, rather we had to make it up. This wasn't a hardship for us. We loved playing with our dolls.
We did eventually get Nintendo, but I have to admit that Super Mario Brothers were boring compared to the sordid love lives of our Barbies who swapped boyfriends, traded cars and exchanged children. For kids not allowed to watch Soap Operas, we were very creative.
But, when it comes to Matthew, I never knew what to do with gifts.
Did I accept that it was 25 years later and toys are "more advanced" or did I get non-noisy toys.
In the end, I got a mix. Truthfully, I got swayed by the amazing things the toys did. I don't know that it's called giving in so much as going with the flow.
But, last night I started thinking about this when I was watching Matthew play.
Our big chair was turned into a boat, and a bunch of cars were gathered on it. He had different noises for each car or truck, and sang as he played. Every so often he'd stop to dictate what was going on. At one point he needed more toys from downstairs and told us to "keep an eye on the trucks".
And it struck me that his imagination is just fine.
In fact, it's more than fine. He comes up with crazy and zany ideas. He loves to talk about the "monster baby" that is growing in his tummy. He makes up stories about all sorts of things and is constantly telling us made up jokes.
And, I realize that his imagination is vivid and growing.
So, bring on the toys. I'm beginning to realize that no matter what we give him he will add it to his own fantasy world anyway.
It's amazing to watch him learn and grow.

And .... today is the last day of NaBloPoMo! Yay! I'm so glad I did it and managed to write every day, but it will also be nice to take a little break from daily writing.

The Question...

Yes THAT question.
"How did my baby get in your tummy?"
I'm not sure why the question never occurred to Matthew before, but today, when we were waiting for Mike to get home, Matt wanted to know all about how the baby got into my tummy.
I asked how he thought the baby got in there.
Apparently he thought I ate the baby.
In his mind I ate some sort of seed, and then when I eat and drink (especially milk) the baby grows and grows.
I guess he got it sort of right.
So, then he said "well, if you didn't eat the baby how'd it get in there?"
My answer "Daddy."
"How did Daddy get it in you - did he throw her?"
Ummmm ... no.
And at that point I said that this is something Daddy could explain because he put her there.
And then Mike got home.
And they got talking about Cars and daycare and Becky picking Matthew up at daycare. The question was averted - for tonight.
-------------
My sister picked Matt up from daycare today, and so she and the kids came in for a bit (with some super yummy soup for dinner) My niece, Paige, is talking a LOT these days. Like in the last 2 weeks she hasn't stopped talking.
She must have asked about 16 times in 5 minutes, if "that baby girl in your tummy is coming out soon."
But, she cracks me up. "Aunt Laural, you having that Baby Girl in your tummy yet?"
No, not yet.
Thirty seconds later "Aunt Laural, you having that Baby Girl in your tummy yet?"
I tried to explain that it's not for a long time. First Christmas, then Valentines Day and then right before her daddy's birthday the baby comes (my section is scheduled the day before my brother in law's birthday).
She looked at me, said okay, and then said "Aunt Laural, you got any cheese?"
She makes me laugh!

The Mucosy Fog is Lifting

It turns out I did, indeed, have a sinus infection - combined with an ear infection and and strep throat.
First of all - what's with strep throat? I have had it before, but I have no idea how to tell if I have it. I mean, I have been taking halls, but it was bearable and I only mentioned it as an aside. But, last year I had the worst sore throat imaginable, and the doctor just told me to drink cold drinks and take halls.
Weird.
Anyway, I went to my appointment, and mentioned about 3 times that I needed an antibiotic that I could take when pregnant - and penicillin free. So, she gave me a prescription and I asked if she was sure I could use it while pregnant.
Her response? "It should be."
Okay - I really I've been a little over-anxious this pregnancy, but all along I've been pretty confident that if my doctor tells me something I trust it.
"It should be" is not a phrase I trusted.
So, I went to my favourite pharmacy and spoke to the pharmacist that I trust.
He looked at the prescription and told me that he did not feel comfortable prescribing that to me. He asked if I wanted to come look at what the risks were. (they have a huge book of prescriptions and the side effects. It's fascinating).
The side effect - "toxicity to the fetus".
WHAT????
I kind of freaked out. He explained to me that penicillin, which I'm allergic to, is what they would normally give. Okay. I get that. But, I'm not willing to take something possibly toxic to the fetus.
I was at the store for an hour.
There were faxes back and forth.
I called my OB.
He called both the doctor and Motherisk. (actually, that was to make me feel better, I think). In the end he came up with a prescription that is safe to take. The doctor signed off. My OB said okay.
All's well that ends well. But, the moral of the story is if you have doubts ASK.
As for the sinuses, ear and throat? Well, between the medication and the various sprays and other stuff I have to take I'm feeling very medicated and a little bit better.
Going to bed at 6:30 also helped.

Sick Day

I finally gave in ... and called in sick.
Tylenol isn't helping. Halls aren't helping. I'm not sleeping.
And, I just couldn't face a train ride and then sitting at my desk all day.
So - I'm logging in from home to work. And, when I'm done what I have to do I'm sleeping. And taking it easy. And eating some soup.
I'm trying to decide if it's worth my effort to get dressed and go to a walk-in clinic because I know my sinuses are infected. But, I'm not sure if they can do anything other than tell me to sleep and eat soup.
Oh - and I don't have the car today, so I'll have to ask my mom or sister to bring me. And though I'm sure they would if I called it still means talking on the phone with no voice and a headache.

Ugh.

Sorry. Usually I'm way more upbeat on my blog. It's just hard when everything hurts. I swore I would not be like this when I'm pregnant. What's wrong with me?

So, let's review what I'm happy about:

• Christmas is coming. Yay!
• Next week is Matt's daycare Christmas party - love that!
• Despite the fact that I feel like complete crap the baby inside me is growing and healthy!
• Matthew makes me smile every single day
• I'm almost done my Christmas cards. The only people left are the people who I didn't have addresses for and I'm slowly getting those addresses.
• I have a cold now which could quite possibly mean I'll be healthy for Christmas
• I have more vacation days left than I thought - this means that I can take the time off I've booked at Christmas and then take a couple of extra days or transfer them over to next year.
  

Okay - I'm off to make some decaf tea in hopes of at least feeling a little better.

Monday Already?

Ugh.
That's the only word for it.
I'm still sick. And I'm tired. But, I've been up for hours. And I see a busy week ahead. Between doctors appointments (2 this week... I love my ob, but I have about a zillion more appointments and tests etc than I did with my midwife), some work deadline, and this stupid lingering cold that has me sneezing every 2 minutes I'm tired.
And the week hasn't even started.
Our house is a disaster.
My poor husband has been trying to keep up in my wake. He even made beef stew and dumplings last night! And got a hair cut! He's trying. But, trying to keep a house clean when it's hard to get off the couch is nearly impossible. I know we could get someone in to clean, but half the problem, at least, is organizing and tidying and keeping up with it all.
I'm debating taking a couple of days off to get stuff in order.
But, not when I'm sick. Because no matter what has to be done, I've discovered that sleeping seems to make the problem go away.
Yesterday I came home from our really cool kids Christmas party (more on that tomorrow) and slept for 2 hours.
Then I got up and organized baby clothes, and then I fell back asleep.
The laundry is still piled up. The bathroom still needs cleaning.
At least I went to the grocery store to get some food for dinner tonight (frozen pizza - there's sustenance), but if we are being honest, I only went because I had the worst craving for McCain Deep and Delicious chocolate cake. And, really, it's pretty much the first real craving in months, so I figured one piece would not kill my attempt for a healthy pregnancy. And ... after Mike had made dinner, done the dishes and a bunch of other things, asking him to go get me cake just seemed mean.
And, when I went to pay for the cake, tonight's pizza and a few other assorted items I realized that I knew every single cashier who was working because we pretty much go to the grocery store every day. It's like we can't even get it together enough to make weekly trips to the store. I actually choose the line based on who is working. Sad. It's a whole new dimension.
The weird thing is, second trimester is supposed to be the "honeymoon phase" of pregnancy. Seriously. For me it's more of the "please shoot me and get me out of this misery" phase. Though I think that has less to do with the pregnancy and more to do with being sick constantly, being denied cold medicine and being so freaking tired. Oh, and a little added stress on the side.

So, how's your Monday?

A Birthday at McDonalds & a hot Date

Matthew went to a birthday party yesterday. It was the first time that he was invited to a birthday party where parents were allowed to leave and come back in a couple of hours.

I was totally fine with the idea - until we had to leave! Mike was with me, and was totally encouraging me to leave. After giving the mother my cell number, and telling her where we were going (cause I'm sure she was going to remember that detail while chasing 3 year olds) off we went.

It was funny because there were a lot of kids from daycare there, and they all were either 3 or 4. And, those parents weren't quite sure what to do either. The parents who also had older children were scurrying out like us. The "first timers" were hovering. Some parents decided to stay.

I think the decision wouldn't have been quite as easy if we didn't know all of the kids, but Matt knew pretty much eveyr other child from daycare, and they were so funny to watch. They are so used to following each other and lining up, that when the McDonald's staff wanted them to do something, they would automatically line up just like at school. Hilarious.

We came back early to watch. It was really well organized. The McDonald's staff was fairly young and were great with the kids. I ended up chatting for awhile with the birthday boy's mom. It was a really fun time for all of us.

But ... what did Mike and I do during the hour anda half we didn't spend at McDonald's? We went on a date! Well, a funny one.

We picked up a baby name book at Chapters, and then we went to Starbucks (across from the McDonald's) and we discussed baby names. We basically went through all of the names in the letters we liked, and CAME UP WITH A NAME! This is quite a feat.

Mike and I are on opposite sides of the spectrum when it comes to names. I really love one name, and Mike said we could go with it. But, I knew he hated it, and as great as it is to get my own way, I don't want my child growing up with her dad hating her name. I mean, how many times in a day do you say your child's name? Not to mention my brother-in-law totally guessed what name I wanted to go with and keeps making fun of it. (I'm not offended. It's akin to a big brother making fun of a name). But, if it was that great a name ... they would both like it.

But, the name we came up with.

Here's the thing. Before I was pregnant, when we weren't trying yet but I knew I was ready, I had a dream that I had a baby girl. And, we gave her this name. The dream stuck with me and I mentioned it the next day to Mike. And, he loved the name. I had even dreamed the spelling up. How weird is that????

So, yesterday one of the names I mentioned was the one from the dream. And, again we both fell in love with it. Spelling and all. How great is that? I'm pretty excited! I'm not telling anyone what it is. Why? Because that is the one thing that want to keep secret.

Saturday Morning Confessions

want to know something?
As excited as I am about having a baby girl, I'm a little worried too.
When I first found out I was having a boy I was thrown for a loop. But, as Matthew has gotten bigger I've gotten into quite the routine with a boy. Sure he's got a strong personality. And, I definitely have had to learn about cars and trucks and trains. But, in some ways, having a boy is easy.
He is easy to please. And there's lots of stuff I don't worry too much about. Of course I want him to have friends, but when I see him with the other kids at daycare, it seems like because he is a boy he fits in pretty easily with the other boys.
The other day I went to pick him up. He laid on the floor pretending to be dead, and his friend came over and gently kicked him. Granted the little boy's dad got upset and made him apologize, but both boys thought it was hilarious. When Matt brings his transformers to daycare they pull out the other cars and trucks and the boys are off and running, banging each other's toys and making loud noises.
Easy.
And then I watch the girls.
At the age of 3 and 4 there is already division in the ranks. There are little groups and they have certain tastes. Seriously, cliques at the age of 3. It's not encouraged by the daycare, but at the same time, it happens really naturally.
When it comes to clothing, Matt is really easy to please. He is thrilled if his t-shirt has a transformer, Diego or a dinosaur. He prefers pants that are easy to pull down (i.e. elastic waists). If I want to dress him up for a photo I do. And, if I feel like making his hair spiky he's happy.
I've been around both of my nieces to know that that is not the case with girls.
Don't get me wrong. I'm thrilled about having a girl. But, I'm terrified. I have paid close attention to my younger niece when it comes to stuff like clothes and shoes. I figure I have between 12-18 months before a girl starts dictating what she wants to wear. My niece, Paige, is 2, and she already knows what she likes and doesn't like when it comes to clothes. Once I tried to help my sister get her ready, and I was baffled by which pink dress the child wanted. I had to recruit her sister Kyla, 5, to help me out.
And as for Kyla and her clothes ... dear god! I took her shopping awhile ago. It was an incredibly fun experience, but the girl has preferences. She doesn't just want pink, she wants specific shades of pink.
And then there's the issue of whether she wants stuff with Princesses or Tinkerbell. I just learned last week that in her world princesses are out and Tinkerbell is in.
Ahhhh!
The last time I went to see my hairstylist we got on to the topic of kids and dressing them. I quite boldly told him that I think it's up to parents to help their kids by making sure that they are well dressed and fit in with their peers. I do sincerely mean that. I don't mean you need to dress your child head to toe in the most expensive clothes out there, but I think you need to help your child make good fashion choices so their peers don't mock them. Seriously! He laughed, and told me to give it a few years.
He doesn't have kids ... but he's really smart in pretty much everything.
And, I'm beginning to think he's right - it's not that easy.
And, that, my friends, is just a little of what I'm worrying about bright and early on a Saturday morning.

A Box of Pee

No, really. A box of pee.
Last night when Mike and I were making dinner (okay, scooping out my sister's fabulous crock pot dinner on to plates - have I mentioned I now live for Crock Pot Thursday?) Matthew came over to me with one of his little crates that opens and closes. It's plastic and it came with a little kid's airplane system.
Anyway, he says "I have a present for you, Mom."
I was about to open it and thought to ask him what was in it.
He told me pee.
What???
"I made you a box of pee."
He was very every excited about this new discovery - that he could aim so specifically into something, in this case a box. He was so excited that he gave it to me as a present.
I thought he was kidding.
Mike thought he was kidding.
So, we opened it very carefully. The little crate was yellow anyway, so there was no telling. We poured a little over the sink. Still couldn't tell.
So Mike smelled it.
Sure enough. It was a box of pee.
Thanks, Matt!
We didn't punish him. I mean, it's not like we ever told him not to pee into toys and then give them as gifts. He thought he was being loving. We did explain that it was gross and that he should never do that again.
He left the kitchen and we nearly died laughing.
Seriously. Pee in a box.
Merry Christmas.

--------

As for my cold and general yucky feeling ...
I had a doctor's appointment. The best I can do is tylenol. And sleep. And feel sorry for myself. But, I think part of it is the weather change and I know this will pass.
But, the good news is that I had a great ob appt. The baby is moving a LOT - it was hard to get the heartbeat because the baby kept kicking the doppler. It was funny. But, there's a strong heartbeat and I'm healthy.
I also mentioned that I'm still getting sick and it's from the pre-natal vitamins. Who knew there's a prescription vitamin that doesn't make you nauseous? My doctor gave me a sample, and sure enough I ate breakfast today and did not puke! Life is good. You take 2 per day - one in the morning and one at night. I have no idea how I'll remember, but I feel like I will actually get some nutrients. Yay!
And, apparently my weight gain is "perfect." Just enough that I'm healthy - but not too much. Mind you, now that I have vitamins that don't make me sick, we'll see what I weigh next month!

Snow and Colds = Bleck

I'm sick.
I have a stupid cold and feel like crap.
And it's snowing.
It's not exactly the end of the world, but this morning it kind of felt that way. It didn't help that I couldn't find the pants that I wanted to wear. Why was this? Because my husband's idea of "doing laundry" was throwing every single piece of laundry on top of the freezer and letting me search. Nice.
Hopefully the commute today won't be too bad. But the truth is that as soon as there is any sort of weather condition GO Trains run late. I'm not sure why. But, I'm guessing we will be on the platform for awhile.
wow.
Could I be any crankier today?
Today would have been a great day to sleep in and call in sick. After all, I am sick. But, I've taken some sick days already. And, I have a ton of work today. And I have a doctor's appointment today.
The good news is that at least I know where my boots are. I have a beautiful new scarf thanks to my friend Meghan (who knit it for me) And I was successful on my hunt for a maternity winter coat (thanks, Kerry!)
Life would be good if I could stop sneezing and my throat felt better.

Photo Fun

Last night my parents had me bring Matthew to get his picture taken with his cousins and my parents.
The session was booked for 6:20 pm. We arrived at the photo session at 6:23. Prior to that time, Mike picked me up from the GO Station (5:35) and picked Matt up from daycare. We changed his clothes and did his hair, took him to McDonald's where he got stuck in a huge play structure (and when I started panicking a lovely 5 year old boy climbed and led him down the slide), got lost twice on the way to the session, had one near argument about directions and finally made it to the location.
Three minutes late. Not bad.
Of course, before Matt joined the picture my sister's family had their picture taken. All the children discovered the joys of stools that went up and down, and all generally ran in circles waiting for their turn.
It's no surprise that when, at 7pm, they started the photo session that included all 3 kids (ages 5, 3, 2) and two grandparents its was an interesting experience.
We could not get them to all smile. When I told Matt and Kyla, who were both standing on risers, to stand like soldiers, Matthew started to march while Kyla put one hand to her head. Paige meanwhile was alternating between imitating Matthew and Kyla and whining that she had to sit on Grandma's lap instead of marching on a riser.
When we did get them in one place their smiles were ridiculous. Paige has discovered the joys of making faces and this cracked Kyla up. Matthew tried to copy Paige. (note: Paige and Matthew can be a lethal combination since they have the same sense of humour and are both very adventurous)
And the poor photographer was trying to keep her cool.
Matthew was annoying her the most because he would not stand still. So, she went over to him and whispered something in his ear to keep him quiet. As soon as she turned her back to him he very dramatically stuck his tongue out. My mom and I both lost it. We kind of felt the same way. Because we were laughing everyone got going.
There was one picture after that before we called it a night.
The picture ... it wasn't fantastic.
But, it's for my 98 year old grandfather who will appreciate the thought behind it. And, having had children, grandchildren and now great grandchildren, knows that kids will be kids and will probably just appreciate that we got them all together for the occasion.
we discussed the idea of doing this next year. With a six-month old. Hmmm .... Let's see just how much my grandad appreciates the picture. Who knows, maybe we will all get in the picture (my sister, our husbands and I all opted out this year). However, if this does happen I think we'll be passing a flask among the adults because I think a little alcohol would make it a little more bearable.
And, yeah, maybe we'll get a sedative for Matt. But that's next year.
For now we're home, in one piece.

He's So Sweet

Sometimes I'm struck by how sweet and kind my son can be.
Take for example tonight. He was overjoyed to receive a birthday party invitation to his friend's party.
Okay, first of all, is it me, or did McDonald's parties kind of go out of style for awhile and are now popular again.
Anyway, we were en route to Walmart and we were asking him what he thought Austin would like for his birthday. Matt's current favourite toys are his 2 transformers toys: Bumblebee and Optimus Prime.
So, I said "maybe we could get Bumblebee for Austin."
What I meant by that was that we could go to the toy section and buy this toy for Austin. Matthew was really sad for a second and then said "Okay. Austin can have Bumblebee and I will still have Optimus Prime."
In other words, he was willing to give away his favourite toy as a birthday gift. That melted my heart. I can't say that I'm always willing to give away my favourite things for my friends. I try to model that. But it amazes me how much love kids have.
He is doing this all the time.
When we had all our Hallowe'en candy sitting out, he was usually more excited about sharing with everyone than eating it himself.
I know this will change. But for now I'm loving it.

Pink It Is!

Now that we've given our parents ample time to tell everyone, I can officially tell everyone here
I'm having a girl!
Yay!
Of course I'd love a boy just as much. But, I'm thrilled about having a girl. I'm looking forward to shopping for pink clothes and spending hours playing Barbies. I'm looking forward to the baby dolls and the hair accessories and shows like Strawberry Shortcake.
I know that's a little shallow, but I'm a girly girl.
I love Matthew to death. I love that I've learned to find the joys in playing Transformers and watching Cars.
But, bringing some pink to this house will be a good thing.
We've started designing the nursery. And, of course I have started buying clothes. A onesie here, a sleeper there. It's fun! My sister has brought over boxes of girl things from my nieces. It's a little bit overwhelming, but I'm loving it.
The funny part of all of this, is that we are having a hard time choosing names. There are so many we like, and we want to pick the right one.
When I was pregnant with Matthew (believe it or not, that name took us forever to pick) we already knew that if we were having a girl her name wold be Jessica. But, to me that name sort of belongs to Matt, and it seems weird to consider it for this baby. It seems like a hand-me-down. I know, that's weird. But, still ...
Anyone have any great name ideas?

And, how cute is this? On Saturday night Kyla and Paige came for a visit. Paige (2) has started talking a LOT. At least, we can finally understand a lot of what she is saying now. And, every time she wants to get Matt's attention she shouts "Matt. Matty. Matt ADAMS." It cracks me up every single time I hear it.
For someone so tiny that child knows how to get our attention.

Santa Is Coming

Yesterday was our neighbouring town's Santa Claus Parade.
Together with my sister's family, my parents' neighbours (and our friends) and a fellow WonderMommy's family we all descended on the Santa Claus Parade. It's a lot smaller than the Toronto one, which means easy access to parking, no long line ups, and a shorter parade, something to consider when a pregnant bladder and recently toilet trained children are in the mix!

The parade was really really fun. It was a little chilly, but we were all bundled.

The Firetrucks Started It Off

Matt LOVED the pirate (a little scary I thought)

Loving my Clown Nose!
The hat is Matt's but he didn't want it

And Of Course ... SANTA!

Number 1 or Number 2

Don't ask how the topic came up.
I don't know.
But the other day I explained to Matthew that when you go to the washroom, pee is called #1 and poo is called #2.
I should have known Matt would be fascinated by this. He loves numbers. He loves bathroom humour. The combination was just too much not to become enamoured by.
Since Wednesday he's been somewhat obsessed with the topic. It's hilarious.
He used to run to the bathroom and say "I have to pee."
Now it's "I'm just doing number 1!"
And, of course this has spilled over to daycare. Instead of telling his teachers he needs to use the bathroom he tells them that he has to do number 1 or number 2. Apparently his one teacher, Denise, finds it funniest. And he thinks nothing of running through the classroom screaming "time for number 2."
Yes, the teachers are thanking me daily!
I'm sure the other parents are also.
And, in our home the excitement continues. If I'm in the washroom, no matter the time of day, Matthew usually shouts our "you doing number 1 or number 2?"
We're now teaching him this is a question only for home or daycare. With kids, especially when they are toilet training, potty talk is such an easy conversation. But, we're trying to explain to him that people don't like being asked about what they do in the bathroom.
We'll see how well that conversation goes!

Pink or Blue??? I know!

I do. I know what I'm having.
After the world's most bizarre ultrasound experience on Wednesday, I left feeling dejected. I was so hoping to find out and they were idiots.
But, then I called my OB's office yesterday.
I called fairly early in the morning. The receptionist there is incredible. When I explained to her that I was dying to know the gender, she said she would see what she could do, and told me to call back at about 2pm.
Of course I did.
It turns out that on her lunch hour she walked over to the ultrasound clinic to pick up the results. How amazing is that? So when we spoke again she was able to tell me the gender.
Mike really wanted to know, but I told him we had to wait another day.
And then I called my sister. She decorated our house in a colour appropriate theme. And, to keep Mike out of the house, I convinced my mom to call him and have him come over to her house to help her with a bizarre computer problem. (which didn't exist).
Meanwhile I went to Baby Gap and picked up a colour appropriate hat and socks.
It was a busy afternoon!
When we got home I made him go buy bread for dinner, and locked him out of the house, just to buy time, while I taught Matt to say "Surprise we're having a baby _______"
It was so cute.
Mike got home, and when he did Matthew shouted out his line. It was a little confusing, but he ended up saying "Happy Birthday! Surprise! We're having a Baby ________" and then handed him the stuff from Baby Gap.
And I cracked open the sparkling apple juice.
It was an evening of celebrating.
My sister and I have already planned out all the bedroom details. I'm warming up my credit card. I'm excited.

I'm not saying te gender today. Feel free to e-mail me if you're curious. We haven't exactly told ALL of our relatives yet, and we want to share the news with some people who read this blog a little more personally first. But, it's not like I can wait 4 more months before blogging about it.

Truthfully, my whole mindset changed after I found out the gender. Honestly, as much as I say I'm happy with either, in the back of my mind I knew what I wanted. But, either way, for me, knowing what I'm having is freeing. It hit me yesterday that this is another baby. I'm excited. And, it's no longer just about the obsessive planning. It's about having another little baby. And, despite some of my anxieties I'm getting excited.

When I tucked Matt in last night I told him that he's going to be hearing more and more about the baby in the next few months. But, I told him that I want him to know how much I love him. And, he told me that he knows, but he knows I'll love the baby "so much too". It was adorable!

Lunch For One (plus one)

Yesterday, in the middle of various medical appointments, I had a break for lunch.
Thankfully all went well yesterday, and I feel a lot better about a lot of things. But, it was pretty stressful. Really, I find all these doctors appointments stressful.
But, I had a lunch break.
I debated all sorts of things. I walked around a few stores, and I walked around a busy food court and nothing appealed to me.
And then it hit me.
I was going to have a nice lunch - by myself.
I don't do that often.
I have to admit, it's one of my favourite things to do. I discovered my love of a table for one when I used to be a tour guide. For a few summers I would take grade 7 and 8 students on trips to places like Ottawa and Quebec City. And, we would often have a couple of hours when the kids would be eating lunch and shopping, and we could have lunch, a break, etc.
With some of the nicer schools the teachers would invite me to join them for lunch. Sometimes I hung out with the bus drivers. On the odd occassion the kids would ask me to have lunch with them. But, my favourite thing by far was, specifically in Quebec City, finding a quiet little restaurant and having a delicious lunch.
My all time favourite was a steaming hot bowl of French Onion Soup at this little bistro in Old Quebec.
The first couple of times I went for lunch by myself I hid behind a book or some work. But, then I stopped caring. I loved people watching. I loved listening to the waiters and waitresses discussing patrons. I loved the peace and quiet of it.
And I loved that people left me alone. I loved that it didn't bother me to be sitting alone. I knew I had friends. I knew I had options. But, this peace and quiet was new to me. I like to be surrounded by people. It shocked me that I embraced this.
And yesterday, while stressing about way too much stuff, I stopped and had lunch with myself. No book. No blackberry. No friends. Just me, some pasta, and a lovely break.
And within minutes I remembered what I loved so much about the quiet. For a few minutes I thought about what was on my mind. I stopped worrying about all the stuff that has been bugging me and stressing me out, and I realized that sometimes it's nice to just sit and be alone.

Okay - so I'll admit, it didn't bring peace to my entire day. An hour or so later I had a meltdown of EPIC proportions (that only a dramatic hormonal and overly tired pregnant woman could have). But, that's another story for another day!

And, in case anyone thought that I may be announcing the sex of the baby today ... HA!!! You make me laugh. I have NO freaking clue. As part of yesterday's fun I went to probably the worst ultrasound clinic in the world. And not just worst. Weirdest. And they told me nothing. I finally had to ask if there was a heart beat (there was). Ugggh.

The good news is it's a baby. It's still 50/50 whether it's a girl or a boy. Feel free to guess. I'm thinking I'll have to go with psychic predictions.

But, last night I talked to Matt about it. I said that I was waiting to hear from my doctor to find out if the baby in my tummy was a boy or girl. He looked at me so seriously and said, "But Mommy, you already have a girl in there. Why would it become a boy."

Ever since we told Matthew I'm having a baby he's been 100% convinced it's a baby girl. It's a little freaky how sure he is. Time will tell, I guess.

Have I mentioned I'm frustrated with not knowing?

Bad Words

Matthew's daycare has a bunch of forbidden words. We don't know the whole list, but as far as Matthew is concerned some of the big ones are:

• stupid
• shut up
• pee
• poo
• penis

The latter 3 are allowed to be spoken in the bathroom, but cannot be used in the context of calling someone poo or saying they smell like pee - that kind of thing.

He loves using these forbidden words, and so we got into the routine of letting him use them just around us when he's in the van. (I'm not saying we let him use words like the "f word" in the car) So yesterday he told me he made "stupid pie". I knew this had to be the use of a forbidden word.

So, I said

"Matthew, are you allowed to say stupid at daycare?"
His voice took on the tone of a very annoyed teenager and he said "Yes, Mommy of course I can. It's only a bad word if my teachers hear it."

Oooookay.
I'm not sure the bad word concept has really stuck.

At least he's smart.

We also got his report card from swimming lessons. It was pretty neat. He's graduated to the next level (that would be small fry 2) and he's beginning to master the basics of swimming. I guess I'll be pulling out my maternity bathing suit more than I had planned on.

-----------------

On another topic, today I have some tests/meetings for this pregnancy. Wish me luck. I've kept pretty quiet about them because I'm not terribly worried, and I know everything will be fine. But, at the same time, I'm kind of nervous. So .... wish me luck!

Sick Day

I didn't make it to work yesterday. I went to bed feeling like crap. And I woke up feeling like crap. And I had a headache. And was fluish.
So I stayed home.
And, since Mike had the same symptoms he stayed home too.
We did nothing. We didn't even have afternoon coffee. We just hung out trying to get better, enjoying the quiet, and sleeping. I slept for 4 hours straight and was still tired.
It sucks that the only drug available when you're pregnant is Tylenol and Tums. Oh how I miss Nytol and Gravol!

We weren't the only tired ones in our house.

Sunday night my parents came to visit. And, since Matt had no interest in dinner we let him play downstairs. When it suddenly got quiet I went downstairs to check on Matthew.

He got very tired from playing with his toys...

No wonder. A mess is an exhausting thing to create!

Even Rosie came to inspect it!
I thought it was kind of funny. This, to me, is how a playroom should look! I'm leaving it.

And, on a totally unrelated topic, I've been somewhat fascinated (or obsessed) with my weight during this pregnancy.
When I had my last visit with my family doctor, she said that my goal this pregnancy should be to gain no more than 40 lbs. To me that equates to 1lb per week. But, my last pregnancy I gained 87 lbs!!! So that's about half.
Granted I still puke on a regular basis, so that kind of helps me not gain weight. But, so far I've gained only about 8lbs. My OB says this is fine. I find it fascinating. Especially since the baby is growing, and I'm definitely getting bigger. And, as of Thursday I'm halfway through this pregnancy. And even though I don't want to gain 30 lbs in the 2nd half, I still sort of feel like I don't need to be as concerned as I have been.
Who knows.
It's just something that's been on my mind.

There's Nothing Hotter ...

Than me, at 18.5 weeks pregnant, and totally showing, in a bright blue maternity bathing suit at the public pool.
Seriously.
My lovely new hairstyle nor the fact that I haven't gained tons of weight this pregnancy didn't help this look one little bit!
Matthew just finished 10 weeks of swimming lessons at daycare and has been enjoying his swimming lessons immensely. He asked me to go swimming with him. So, out came my stunning blue bathing suit (which matches his bathing suit), and off we went to the public pool.
Actually, it was a lot of fun.
The thing about swimming with a preschooler is that you can't exactly dwell on your own appearance when you're trying really hard to keep up in the pool.
And, it's a lot easier to float after a 3 year old than run after a 3 year old.
I was pleasantly surprised at how much he has learned in this recent series of swimming lessons. Because he goes to his lessons during the day, I don't get the opportunity to watch and see what he is doing. I just pay the fees and the daycar teachers bring him to the pool (where he is taught by proper swimming teachers). I mostly only hear if he is listening well or not, and whether he put his head under the water.
So, it was pretty neat to observe.
The first interesting thing was that he loves using the flutter board. He went right for it and hopped on and started kicking. He was really moving. He was also able to sort of swim on his back, and had no fear about going down the little slide and landing in the water and putting his head under.
In fact, he went on the slide about 20 times.
I was really proud.
He's always enjoyed the water, but now he's confident.
It's not like I would EVER take my eye off him, but I am finally feeling a lot less nervous. I know drowning statistics and they terrify me. But, I could see that he is finally getting strong enough to sort of keep his head above water. I'm seeing that if I turn my head for one second he actually has enough resources to paddle for a second. He knows to keep his mouth shut in the water, and has learned to blow bubbles.
One of my greatest joys growing up was swimming. We had a pool, and I was a very confident swimmer. I've often wondered how I'll let Matthew be a confident swimmer when I'm terrified of letting his hand go for even a millisecond.
Today I had some peace about it. Don't get me wrong. I'm ADAMENT that my child is always safe in the water. But being safe isn't just about me hovering. It's about giving him the tools and teaching him to swim, and I'm finally seeing that all these lessons are finally paying off.

And ...

Before Bill (very few layers)



















After Bill - still long, just more layered (ps this was hours after)



















What do you think?

Thanks for your input. I went with the flat black boot. He was impressed.

Who Needs the Playground when there's Mr. Lube?

I'm so not kidding either!
I decided to take Matthew out on Saturday morning since we had a few errands to run. Since the oil light in our van was flashing, and since I vowed to change the oil regularly, we stopped by Mr. Lube.
There was no lineup, so in we went.
On the list of fun activities this has never been up there for me. I find car care boring, and I never know whether the need to replace stuff (like today's PCV valve) is necessary or if they are just trying to get me to spend money.
Regardless, a fun outing was had.
I let Matt get out of his car seat and come up to the front of the van. He was thoroughly entertained by the people fixing our car. He asked about 1 million questions and they answered every single one. It was fascinating. He asked questions that I would never think to, but that were somehow less annoying because they came from a 3 year old.
They brought him balloons and candy.
For him it was right up there with a trip to McDonald's. It was slightly more expensive. But, on the plus side much healthier (except for the lollipops).
He was so cute throughout the entire visit. He rolled down the windows and kept shouting out "do you hear me?" and they would all say yes.
It was hilarious.
On the downside I realized I know nothing about my van.
For instance, we have this setting for our headlights where they go on an off automatically. They asked me to test the lights and I didn't know how.
Then there was the opening the hood issue. I hadn't needed to do that yet. So, when they asked me to open it I set the emergency brake instead. And then didn't know how to turn it off. Nice.
I also had no idea how to rev the van to 2000 (rpm?) nor did I know what to do when the guy pulled the oil stick out of the car to show me it was clean.
In my defense, I've always brought my car to Canadian Tire or the Dealership, so they do all of that while you sit in a waiting room. So, it's not like I ever had to look at an oil stick.
At least they explained it all to Matt as well, so in 13 years he can take care of all the oil changes. Afterall, he really did seem to have a good time!
Maybe I'll have his next birthday party at the oil change place. Afterall, it was fun, short and they have balloons and candy. Genius!

Yesterday

My visit with Bill was wonderful.
As usual, I was nervous. I don't know why! I've been having my hair done by him since I was 13. That is 16 years, and I still get nervous and excited.
First of all, when I got there he came out to say hello. It had been awhile since he'd seen me and my hair had grown a lot. It's longer than it has ever been, and he was impressed! He just kept playing with it and saying it was beautiful. In fact, he kept saying that I looked great with longer hair. And, I agreed!
So, we decided to keep it long, but add a few layers to break it up a bit.
And then there was the appointment.
I won't go into detail. I will say that when we got talking about America's Next Top Model I COULD NOT stop giggling. Sometimes Bill makes me laugh, but sometimes he makes me laugh so hard that for days following I crack up when I think about what he said.
But really, the whole visit was lovely.
And, how adorable is this ... I told him that I already know the time and date of my c-section. And, he put it on his calendar as an appointment. Too cute!
He asked me if he would see me before the baby. Of course the answer is no - because as nerve wracking as it was to wear an outfit showing off my baby bump it would be down right horrifying to go in there waddling.
After my hair appointment Mike came into Toronto and we went out for dinner.
It was really fun.
We'd debated a few options, but in the end we went to one of our favourite places - Il Fornello. This restaurant is pretty special to us because we spent our first married Valentine's there. And we only go back every so often.
Of course I ordered my favourite dinner (linguine pollo e pesto ... yum yum) and of course I ate maybe half of it so Mike was very full at the end of the night.
We laughed. We chatted. We enjoyed each other's company.
I needed an evening like this. For the first time in awhile I laughed harder than I have laughed in months. And I sat and enjoyed dinner without worrying about chasing Matthew or debating issues of pregnancy.
Moments like this you just have to appreciate.

PS I'll post the before and after pics later. Two days in a row of pictures of me is probably more than enough!

Help! Do you think the Outfit Works?

I'm beyond excited ...
Guess what happens at 4:30 today? That's right - I have a hair appointment with my beloved hairstylist, Bill.
(recognize him?)
You may know him from Cityline!
I know, trust me, I know. Most people don't make a huge deal about seeing their stylist. But, I do. I'm crazy that way, I guess, but I really really love going. And, since it's beyond expensive I can't go nearly as often as I would like.
But, it's worth it every time I go.
I've been to different stylists. I've tried saving money. But let's be honest. When you find someone who boosts your spirits and makes you feel beautiful and lovely and like yourself it is worth every penny. And trust me - it's a lot of pennies.
I'll admit, I spend a lot of time planning these appointments. I need to decide on my outfit. That alone takes days. I seek advice. I read fashion magazines. I go shopping.
That's hard enough on a normal day. Hello. Pregnant. Do you know how much stress I've been under? I had to plan an outfit that looks cool and sexy and yet makes me look like a glowing, happy and not huge pregnant woman.
Bill has never seen me pregnant. Not that he'll judge. Still.
I've tried on many outfits.
The good news is that I won't have to suck in my stomach. That's fun!
And, the other good news (which makes all this outfit planning a little silly) is that of course you wear a gown/robe thing when you go there. So, it's not like it matters that much. But, really, there is the whole entrance and exit to worry about!
I finally settled on a nice tealish shirt with a black shirt underneath and some jeans. I'm currently debating between two pairs of jeans. I think if worse comes to worse I may bring both pairs of jeans to work and ask my fashion conscious collegues to help me decide.
Why not?
I did ask Mike's opinion but his opinion is solely based on which pair is more flattering to my butt. And, though that is a consideration there is more to fashion than just that.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
And the purse. Because this shirt is a bluish teal (not greenish) I am using my current favourite red purse. I debated whether it was too much. But, I'm loving the colour. The jeans I've settled on are skinny jeans that sort of bunch at the bottom. So, do I wear red heels (very '80's) or do I go with the flat black boot? Or the black boot with a heel?
Help!
Here is a picture of the outfit. I need shoe help. (And this is not a flattering pic, by the way)
Choices:
Red Heel
Silver Flat
Black Flat Boot (under pants)
Black heel boot (under pants)